“We have met the enemy and he is us”

Who else is here in my ear telling me horrible things about myself, and the things that other people are probably thinking about me?  Of course it’s only me, dammit!  I so wish I could shut that voice up.  I was at a folk music jam last night and each of us had a turn to make up our own verse of a song.  The organization is about to break ground for a new building and the song had a line about it being “…a Holy Ghost building…”  This organization is non-religious, very accepting and embracing of all religions and cultures… and it was just a song, right?  I’m Jewish.  We don’t do Holy Ghost.  I, of course, piped up with a verse about being Jewish.  As I sang, I looked around and everybody looked shocked to me. The voice in my head immediately came to attention and snapped me back into some very unpleasant memories. When I was in grade school, our Rabbi told us it was ok to sing along with the Christmas Carols, but not to say the word Jesus or Christ. Since that time, I’ve become pretty eclectic as far as religions go. I’ve studied many of them,and have been in many, many churches as a musician. But last night, when the words of the song were “Holy Ghost building”, I got scared about not being included; and being scared pisses me off.  Reminds me of a story that comedian Danny Thomas used to tell.  He gets a flat tire and goes next door to borrow a jack from his neighbor.  On the way there, he begins to think “what if he won’t lend me the jack?  That would be a rotten thing to do, after all the things I’ve lent him!”  By the time he gets there and the neighbor opens the door, Danny is so angry with him, he punches him in the nose for not lending him that jack.  I am too scared to punch, but yup, that could be me.  When I got home last night, I wrote an email to the song leader about my fears and she wrote back saying no, she wasn’t at all shocked.  She probably made a face because her hand was hurting from playing guitar for so long that day.  See?  Shut up in there!!!

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About feistylynnie

I am a closet explorer of the weird, unusual and extraordinary sides of life, masquerading as a normal person. I play viola and violin in many styles including classical, blues, folk and disco. I am also a horse, donkey, cat and dog lover and total geek.
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